Are You Too Self Critical?

Are you too self-critical? Many of my clients bring it up in our Time To Think™ coaching sessions.  I’m talking about that critical voice in your head that says ‘idiot!’ or ruminating over something you might have done wrong? Or could it be that you find it difficult to say ‘well done’ to yourself for fear that somehow your motivation and drive might falter if you do anything less than perfect?  In fact, the reverse is true.  

Research shows that learning to be your own ‘best friend’ (I mean, really, would you really talk to a friend in the same way as you talk to yourself!) and actively having self-compassion, will boost your work performance, improve your leadership, reduce your stress and enhance your relationships.   

If you’ve just sucked in your teeth hard at this idea, you need to keep reading. When I found a great, practical book on this, I wanted to pass it on.  I’m using it for myself and I’ll be recommending it to my Time To Think™ coaching clients.  It’s called Kindfulness by the Irishman Padraig O’Morain.  Don’t’ be put off by the mindfulness part of it – 3 minutes is all you need!  And the rewards are worth it. You are worth it.

Here are three gems which rang true for me from the book: 

  1. You practice accepting the person you already are without making yourself jump through rings of fire to become ‘acceptable’ to your internal critic
  2. Your starting- and-also finishing point – is to take a friendly attitude towards yourself and know that you have your own friendship no matter
  3. If you need to make changes in your behaviour, you will do so from a standpoint of friendship towards yourself and not hostility. 

If you would like coaching for your leadership, your leadership presence or communications do ping me and we can have a chat. I lead my 1-2-1 work with a coaching approach called Time To Think™. Its singular purpose is to create space and a thinking environment where you can do your own best and newest thinking. It’s exciting, different and liberating. You’ll amaze yourself with your own thinking. Your brain is extraordinary.

Hot Questions for your Personal Growth, man looking at plan.

Hot Questions for your Personal Growth

Now is the time of year when you get to work out your 2020 personal development plan – for work and for home. To kick off your thinking, I have two very powerful questions to help you on your way.

And if part of your plan is to have 1-2-1 executive coaching, please do ask me about Time to Think™ Coaching. It’s different, highly effective and enjoyable.

Every decision you make, every evolution, every new breakthrough idea depends on the quality of your own independent thinking. Yet, how often are we invited to think for ourselves, to the edge of our thinking?

We interrupt each other every 11 seconds. We follow the crowd. We are drowned out in meetings. We are told what to think and do. We’re not even sure we can think this well. What a waste.

Last week, I had a fantastic couple of PD days with my fellow Time To Think™ coaches and received some great coaching myself. I was invited to think, with a promise of no interruption, about two questions.

  1. What is a challenging step you want to take in your life right now that you’re not taking?

  2. What do you assume about yourself most of the time that is most stopping you from having a better life? (or for better life substitute health/relationship/promotion/activity or anything else you want to think about)

I hope this gets you thinking and building your plan.

KineticFuture can coach you to be a world-class communicator and leader. Coaching 1-2-1 and in groups. Clients include Abbvie, Amgen, Gilead, GSK, Novartis, Mars, Pladis, WPP and Barclays. We have six main areas of work: Time to Think™ coachingexecutive presencepresenting and storytellingtricky conversationsresilience and communicating purpose.

Decoding Bill Gates

Watch the Netflix documentary ‘Inside Bill’s Brain: Decoding Bill Gates’  It’s fascinating! In the episode below, Melinda Gates says

“When Bill stills himself, he can pull together ideas others can’t see”.

It also reveals that even when CEO of Microsoft, Bill took thinking weeks to innovate.  

My experience as A Time To Think™ coach is that everyone can think brilliantly and independently.  It is quite amazing to see someone’s brain in action; when we give ourselves the opportunity to think in a Thinking Environment.  Imagine what you could think, be, or do if you had some Time to Think coaching. Give me a buzz if you’d like to explore this with me.  You deserve it. 

And enjoy the series! Here’s a link to the promo video.

SOS My Confidence is Dipping Today

If you’ve got a big day tomorrow and you need to get through, here are some fast SOS confidence tips that work. Click on the links below and survive tomorrow. No one will guess!

If you’d like to build real confidence (and let’s face it, we’d all like more) talk to me about Time To Think™ Coaching. It’s 1-2-1 coaching but not as you know it. You’ll think brilliantly and independently about the challenges that are important to you. (This is me coaching outside the office, by the canal in Paddington – one of my favourite places to work).

In the meantime, follow the tips, phone a friend and you’ll pull off that big day tomorrow.

You can have strong executive presence and impact in meetings and presentations. It just takes some work and a coach who can tap into your potential. You can do it! Give us a call and we’ll coach you how. Find out more about our courses here.

Does Negativity Drive You Mad?

Are some of your team consistently negative? It’s great to disagree with each other and healthy to have different points of views. I’m talking about the kind of behaviours that kill the energy in the team.

I’ve seen this from both points of view in my Time To Think™ coaching. From the people who are perceived to be negative (often wrongly) and from the leaders trying to engage and re-inspire a team. If this is something you’d like to tackle, do get in touch. There’s a great deal you can do to turn this around working 1-2-1 or we can create a bespoke group course.

7 TOP TIPS

  1. Be patient
  2. Show empathy and respect for the person and their point of view
  3. Remember you’re all ‘One Tribe’ – assume good intent and value
  4. Consider that they may not be negative, you are just not listening or you simply have a clash of communication styles
  5. Gently help them reframe and explore a different point of view
  6. Talk about impact of their behaviour on others – the phrase ‘when you do x, it can be perceived as…’ reduces defensiveness
  7. Give attention and reward the positive behaviours you want to see more of

KineticFuture can coach you to be a world-class communicator and leader. Coaching 1-2-1 and in groups. Clients include Abbvie, Amgen, Gilead, GSK, Novartis, Mars, Pladis, WPP and Barclays. We have six main areas of work: Time to Think™ coachingexecutive presencepresenting and storytellingtricky conversationsresilience and communicating purpose.

Contact us today to book a course or to find out more.