IMAGE OF RICHARD MADDEN FROM THE BODYGUARD SOURCED FROM GAGE SKIDMORE AT WIKIMEDIA COMMONS & CROPPED FOR USE.
Happy New Year to you. Today I’m thinking about imposter syndrome – when you’re afraid you’re going to be found out. AAAh! Even Richard Madden, The Bodyguard, winning his Golden Globe this week confessed he’s felt like this all his career. Many business leaders I coach tell me they feel just the same.
So why not ditch this stinking thinking for 2019?
Hot news is… I qualified as a Time To Think business coach yesterday!
I love this powerful approach which achieves extraordinary results fast. I can help you discover a whole new way of thinking about business and yourself. And, of course, this includes ditching that imposter syndrome.
Call me and we’ll tackle it together (find out more here).
Imposter Syndrome Top
“What could you assume instead (about yourself) in this situation that would be credible, liberating and genuinely true to you?”
For example, my own new assumption would be that:
“I’ve deep expertise in my field and even if I operated at just 20% of my ability, it would make a huge impact”.
Embarrassing to say out loud but helpful when I need to be brave! You’ll have your own.
Have a wonderful weekend. And call me if you’d like to know more about my Thinking Partnership Coaching – one to one or in groups.
You’ve communicated the vision, you’ve got a great plan but your team or your management is just not getting it. And they are certainly not moving to action.
And it’s no good just shouting louder like the cartoon Brit abroad if you want action.
I’m going to start with a dirty word. For some reason I can’t fathom, the idea that you are ‘selling’ when you communicate is a huge switch off. Yet life is a pitch – call it what you like. So dive in and learn a great deal from strategic sales skills.
At the very heart of ‘selling’ is the idea of ‘get over yourself, it’s all about the audience’. It’s all about listening more than you talk and uncovering insights. It’s about understanding and respecting the other person’s needs, desires, fears.
Yet, we all see leaders at all levels in the company battering people with their own agendas and own messages in their own language. Be honest, in our rush and stress we may all be doing this ourselves!
Base your communications 100% on what’s in it for the other person or the audience. What do they want? Where are they coming from? Sure, you need your own objective in mind, but this is the only way you’ll have a hope of igniting others around purpose.
KineticFuture solves problems by offering advanced communications coaching for: leaders battling change, strategic sales people dealing with scepticism and technical people talking to non technical audiences. Do talk to us about your own challenges by emailing Karen@kineticfuture.com.
Warmth & Authenticity
Q: I’m very comfortable talking to other senior leaders. But my colleagues tell me I lack warmth and emotional connection with less senior people. How do I do this in a genuine way that still maintains the gravitas and presence of a leader?
A: From what you say in the rest of your note you seem to have warmth and connection in your dealings with familiar senior colleagues or with people who share your hobbies. What you’re going to do here is get back to being your authentic self. And to build on what works for you already. The right level of gravitas will come through naturally.
- Get real. It may be useful to ask yourself “what am I assuming that stops me from connecting well with less senior colleagues?” And “do I have evidence for this view/fact?” Often seeing something written down and challenged can start to loosen up your approach.
- Get over yourself. Go into situations with less senior people with genuine curiosity. Ask their views. Listen. Engineer a different communications forum that’s more relaxed and personal. Use your imagination!!
- Build on what’s natural to you. Think of a situation outside work where you are your most relaxed self. With the family? At the pub? With your football mates? Practice your next presentation or conversation ‘in the style of’ – talking and listening to one of these groups. It will feel strange. Good. You could even film yourself to see the difference or ask a friend to give you feedback. See what happens.
To receive high quality coaching on HOW to develop your own executive presence and gravitas for your own situation do give us a ring. We develop bespoke courses for individuals or groups of all sexes, ages and cultures.
Confidence and grace under fire is one of the top aspects of gravitas, according to research from The Talent Foundation. Today’s question in this series is about being heard. Timing is everything. If you can make a well researched point strongly, particularly in the tough times, you will boost your gravitas and executive presence.
Get in the Game for Gravitas
Q: I get the feeling that other senior leaders are not really listening to what I say when we’re round the table. Yet someone else will make the same point and it’s accepted. Infuriating. It’s worse when I’m with very loud people. How do I change this dynamic?
A: This is about developing your professional presence. It’s hard to know exactly what’s happening here without seeing you in action. But there are three easy things you can try out now and see what works for you. It’s good practice for when you really need to make a key point in the tough times. Do the homework below, practice out loud for 15 minutes and then use one or two of the approaches in an easy meeting and see what happens.
- Work out a clear point of view and call to action that you can deliver succinctly and with conviction. Then practice. If you ramble, repeat yourself or use words like maybe or perhaps you are undermining yourself. A point of view is a 30 second nugget of good thinking that supports the objective. The call to action is your 15 second advice on what should happen next. It’s the point you would make if you only had 45 seconds. It’s useful to start by saying “To be successful… or To achieve x we need to ….”
- Get in the game. This means that before you even speak people need to be aware of your presence. Walk in tall, sit up, lean forward to listen to someone else talking, ask a question, look involved, interested and relaxed. Sit in a power position in the room – in easy line of sight of the key players and avoid being hidden.
- Use an easy vocal strength tip. Before you speak, take an intake of breath or use the current speaker’s name to signal you are about to make a point. Then emphasise the consonant at the beginning of the first word of your sentence and the first word e.g. the W in what. Then decide which are the ‘money words’ in your point – essentially the key words you need to emphasise in the sentence. Underline them in rehearsal. This will slow down your delivery and make it more impactful.
To be coached to develop your executive presence and gravitas for your current situation do give us a ring. We develop bespoke courses for individuals or groups. Find out more here.
If you are fired up to achieve your goals or even if your mojo is a bit squashed, this book is worth a look. It’s called “The Good Psychopath’s Guide to Success. How to use your inner psychopath to get the most out of life”.
Dr Kevin Dutton, psychologist from the University of Oxford has joined forces with SAS forces author Andy McNab to give you hilarious stories, a good dose of scientific backup and practical tips that really work to:
- Stop worrying and get on with living
- Avoid procrastination to achieve your goals
- Become a persuasion black belt
It’s built on the premise that many professions from sportspeople to neurosurgeons need to be able to take a calm, focused approach to what they are doing. In other words being a good psychopath is an asset. It’s useful in business and in your private life.
Buy the book on Amazon.
KineticFuture specialises in coaching the communications aspects of leader development. We are lucky enough to coach CEOs to graduate trainees, engineers to creatives in some of the best companies in the world. Call us if you have a communications challenge you’d like to brainstorm. You will find a way forward.