Are You Too Self Critical?

Are you too self-critical? Many of my clients bring it up in our Time To Think™ coaching sessions.  I’m talking about that critical voice in your head that says ‘idiot!’ or ruminating over something you might have done wrong? Or could it be that you find it difficult to say ‘well done’ to yourself for fear that somehow your motivation and drive might falter if you do anything less than perfect?  In fact, the reverse is true.  

Research shows that learning to be your own ‘best friend’ (I mean, really, would you really talk to a friend in the same way as you talk to yourself!) and actively having self-compassion, will boost your work performance, improve your leadership, reduce your stress and enhance your relationships.   

If you’ve just sucked in your teeth hard at this idea, you need to keep reading. When I found a great, practical book on this, I wanted to pass it on.  I’m using it for myself and I’ll be recommending it to my Time To Think™ coaching clients.  It’s called Kindfulness by the Irishman Padraig O’Morain.  Don’t’ be put off by the mindfulness part of it – 3 minutes is all you need!  And the rewards are worth it. You are worth it.

Here are three gems which rang true for me from the book: 

  1. You practice accepting the person you already are without making yourself jump through rings of fire to become ‘acceptable’ to your internal critic
  2. Your starting- and-also finishing point – is to take a friendly attitude towards yourself and know that you have your own friendship no matter
  3. If you need to make changes in your behaviour, you will do so from a standpoint of friendship towards yourself and not hostility. 

If you would like coaching for your leadership, your leadership presence or communications do ping me and we can have a chat. I lead my 1-2-1 work with a coaching approach called Time To Think™. Its singular purpose is to create space and a thinking environment where you can do your own best and newest thinking. It’s exciting, different and liberating. You’ll amaze yourself with your own thinking. Your brain is extraordinary.

Truth To Power

One of the 7 components of executive presence is for leaders to “speak truth to power”.  Can you make the points that the boss doesn’t want to hear, be the one who says something different from the herd and do you have the courage to do it?  The career impact and team results are huge if you do it well.

At the weekend, I read “Truth To Power. 7 Ways To Call Time on BS by Jess Phillips M.P”.  It’s an extraordinary, moving and a very practical how to book.  It knocked my socks off.

I now recommend it in my Time To Think™ coaching sessions and on our group Executive Presence & Presenting courses.  You might want to be effective and authentic in the office or you may be driving a big change.  It’s all super relevant.  Contact me if you want leadership coaching or to build your exec presence for presentations and meetings.

Here are the key chapter headlines to give you her overall top tips. You can buy the book on Amazon .

  • Not all heroes wear capes
  • Feel the fear
  • What’s the plan
  • Building momentum
  • The backlash
  • Attention seeker
  • Keep going and enjoy it

KineticFuture can coach you to be a world-class communicator and leader. Coaching 1-2-1 and in groups. Clients include Abbvie, Amgen, Gilead, GSK, Novartis, Mars, Pladis, WPP and Barclays. We have six main areas of work: Time to Think™ coachingexecutive presencepresenting and storytellingtricky conversationsresilience and communicating purpose.