Your Gravitas Vlog 1

Our first vlog series is born! It’s called ‘Manage Your Tell’ – the behaviour that tells people you are under pressure and undermines your position. Click here to watch.

We’ll help you find your tell and give you tips to sort it in this 6 part series. Or call us if you’d like to be coached to develop your own confidence, gravitas or executive presence.

To receive high quality coaching on HOW to develop your own executive presence and gravitas for your own situation do give us a ring. We develop practical programmes to suit you.

Email karenmoyse@kineticfuture.com or call us on +44 (0) 1628 621312.

Frustration Buster Part 2 – Engage That Brain

Q: I am frustrated. I have someone experienced on my team who I know has the potential to develop and contribute a great deal more. But despite all my best efforts it’s just not happening.  It’s not a performance management issue but I know they are giving me only ‘just enough’.  And this year I need everyone firing on all cylinders.  I’m looking for new ideas!

A: A good first step is to think about whether it’s a “can’t cook”, “won’t cook” or “used to cook well but doesn’t now” situation. And consider whether it’s a problem of knowledge, attitude or skills.  Does that narrow it down?

However, I sense that you may need to go back to foundations here. It sounds like your person is not currently engaged in their job.  By that I mean they are not really paying attention, passionate about it or ready to go the extra mile.  So you can try to build their knowledge and skills but without a different mindset nothing much is going to happen.  But you can use some practical nudge strategies from brain science to help.

Here are 3 big ways of building brain engagement. Explore if any of these could work for you.

  1. Coherence. Is the work environment coherent? – How could you make what’s happening or needed clearer, more consistent and easy to understand? Brains engage when there aren’t conflicting messages.
  2. Contribution. Knowing you are contributing gives your brain a big dopamine hit, a great reward. So consider how you enable them to contribute, how you appreciate them properly, what suits their personality type and critically how you systematise how you talk to them so it happens regularly. Remember you’re looking to build on any bright spot of behaviour. It’s much easier to get them going by doing more of something they do already and then flexing.
  3. Interpersonal Connection. We are wired for human connection, even if we are introverts. It’s how early humans survived and good connections boost the oxytocin in our brains, which reduces our stress. Another reward. This is a delicate one because again you need to work out how this individual likes to connect to others. But ask yourself, how can I build trust, how should the contact levels be, how can I increase inclusiveness or build a sense of tribe and how could I encourage collaboration in different ways?

Only you know the practical things that will work for you. Let us know how you get on.

If you would like coaching to tackle this type of challenge or a problem you think stems from a lack of team engagement, do give us a call. We develop practical programmes to suit you.

EP & Gravitas Part 6 – The Real Secret of Gravitas

How many people do you know who have this gravitas thing? I bet it’s a short list. Michelle Obama will be up there.

Now ask who makes you personally feel respected, liberated and able to really think at your best. It’ll be a different list but I bet Michelle will still be on it.

The real secret of gravitas is how you make others feel, how you can liberate and ignite their own potential.

These are the people we will walk through walls for. These are the people we would like to elect.

The real secret to gravitas or executive presence is about ease. It is about being able to be genuinely interested in what others have to say because you are not worried about yourself.

It’s about allowing others’ great thinking and potential to flourish because you personally don’t have to control, to be certain, to impress or rush.

Yes, you do need to really know your stuff 6 questions deep and people need to know you are resilient under fire.

Yes, you do need to own and communicate your own point of view in a compelling way.

Yes, you do need to learn to adapt your style to connect with different people and cultures. You do need to make good decisions and execute well.

But the real gravitas, the real secret that makes this possible? That’s about being able to ignite others to fly.

You can absolutely be this person with just a little work.

Whether you are an introvert, an extravert, a young leader or an established leader adapting to a new role.

That’s what we coach at KineticFuture.

We’re often asked why do you blend psychology with the physicality of theatre skills? Why is this resilience and positive leadership malarkey relevant? And what’s with this neuroscience bit and obsession about your planning tools for a communications strategy?

Because these are the skills you need to be genuinely, deep down, long term successful when you are battling real life. And these are the keys to open up yourself to new and exciting personal possibilities.

If you’d like to find out how you or your colleagues could be coached on HOW you can learn to do this, email us a quick “yes please”. And we’ll get in touch for a chat.

EP & Gravitas Part 5 – Boost Your Confidence

Boost Your Confidence

Q: There are some people who manage to knock my confidence and I start to lose gravitas in the meeting. The worst are people who ask questions aggressively on subjects I’m not sure about. How do I maintain my confidence and gravitas in this type of situation?

A:

  • Be prepared. Develop answers for the questions you dread the most. And be prepared to say you don’t know and will find the information for them. No one knows everything. Also think of framing the answer in terms of what makes sense or is valuable to the questioner, not just to you.
  • Manage your ‘tell’. Just like in poker this is the behaviour that gives away that you are under pressure. For example it could be smiling too much or fidgeting. If you know what your ‘tell’ is you can manage it, which boosts your confidence.
  • Flip it. In your mind, swap the word aggressive for vigorous. And find the upside of these questions. See it as a sign that they are very interested. Or that you are offering them a platform to look clever. Or that their ‘bad’ behaviour will draw others to your cause. What else can you think of?

If you would like to be coached on HOW to boost your confidence, please do get in touch. We offer group and one to one programmes tailored for your own real situations.

EP & Gravitas Part 4 – Warmth & Authenticity

Warmth & Authenticity

 Q: I’m very comfortable talking to other senior leaders. But my colleagues tell me I lack warmth and emotional connection with less senior people. How do I do this in a genuine way that still maintains the gravitas and presence of a leader?

A: From what you say in the rest of your note you seem to have warmth and connection in your dealings with familiar senior colleagues or with people who share your hobbies. What you’re going to do here is get back to being your authentic self. And to build on what works for you already. The right level of gravitas will come through naturally.

Exercises

  1. Get real. It may be useful to ask yourself “what am I assuming that stops me from connecting well with less senior colleagues?” And “do I have evidence for this view/fact?” Often seeing something written down and challenged can start to loosen up your approach.
  2. Get over yourself. Go into situations with less senior people with genuine curiosity. Ask their views. Listen. Engineer a different communications forum that’s more relaxed and personal. Use your imagination!!
  3. Build on what’s natural to you. Think of a situation outside work where you are your most relaxed self. With the family? At the pub? With your football mates? Practice your next presentation or conversation ‘in the style of’ – talking and listening to one of these groups. It will feel strange. Good. You could even film yourself to see the difference or ask a friend to give you feedback. See what happens.

To receive high quality coaching on HOW to develop your own executive presence and gravitas for your own situation do give us a ring. We develop bespoke courses for individuals or groups of all sexes, ages and cultures.