Are You Too Self Critical?

Are you too self-critical? Many of my clients bring it up in our Time To Think™ coaching sessions.  I’m talking about that critical voice in your head that says ‘idiot!’ or ruminating over something you might have done wrong? Or could it be that you find it difficult to say ‘well done’ to yourself for fear that somehow your motivation and drive might falter if you do anything less than perfect?  In fact, the reverse is true.  

Research shows that learning to be your own ‘best friend’ (I mean, really, would you really talk to a friend in the same way as you talk to yourself!) and actively having self-compassion, will boost your work performance, improve your leadership, reduce your stress and enhance your relationships.   

If you’ve just sucked in your teeth hard at this idea, you need to keep reading. When I found a great, practical book on this, I wanted to pass it on.  I’m using it for myself and I’ll be recommending it to my Time To Think™ coaching clients.  It’s called Kindfulness by the Irishman Padraig O’Morain.  Don’t’ be put off by the mindfulness part of it – 3 minutes is all you need!  And the rewards are worth it. You are worth it.

Here are three gems which rang true for me from the book: 

  1. You practice accepting the person you already are without making yourself jump through rings of fire to become ‘acceptable’ to your internal critic
  2. Your starting- and-also finishing point – is to take a friendly attitude towards yourself and know that you have your own friendship no matter
  3. If you need to make changes in your behaviour, you will do so from a standpoint of friendship towards yourself and not hostility. 

If you would like coaching for your leadership, your leadership presence or communications do ping me and we can have a chat. I lead my 1-2-1 work with a coaching approach called Time To Think™. Its singular purpose is to create space and a thinking environment where you can do your own best and newest thinking. It’s exciting, different and liberating. You’ll amaze yourself with your own thinking. Your brain is extraordinary.