The most ‘gut wrenching’ work conversations are sometimes the ones when you need to talk about the impact of someone else’s behaviour on you. And often, these conversations are about your feelings, not just about the facts.
The technique below takes the emotion out of a situation and avoids putting the other person on the defensive. Its power lies in the fact that you are talking about how you feel which is not something that can be disputed.
You can use this technique at home or at work in face to face conversations. The important thing is to maintain a relaxed and business-like tone and keep it short.
“I feel X
When you do Y
In situation Z
And I would like a,b,c”
For example “I feel frustrated when you type at your desk during our weekly meeting. I would like to sit down at the table together and get your input on the project”.
Notice the flow uses ‘I’ statements and avoids words that blame such as never, don’t, always, should, unless, shouldn’t, can’t, better not, won’t or why.
Give it a go and let us know how you get on.
This is an extract from KineticFuture’s Positive Leadership. Peak Performance training course. Leadership teams learn how to use evidence-based, practical skills from positive psychology and neuroscience to solve their own business challenges.
Contact us to find out more.